May I make a suggestion? Consider this: autistic people do not internalize social roles and expectations the same way that allistic (non-autistic) people do. Therefore, there are less barriers that would prevent an autistic person from realizing that they are also on the asexual spectrum. There. That's it, that's the explanation. Boom. Now you don't need to imply that autism is inherently a defect that forces us to identify as asexual.
Frankly, this article is highly offensive and suggests that autistic people are uniquely primed to be asexual because we're not allistic. Asexuality is solely about sexual attraction. Things like social anxiety over being misunderstood by allistic romantic partners, or sensory issues restricting what kinds of sexual activity one can do, are things that affect allosexual (non-asexual) autists too. Those things didn't make me ace. Not experiencing sexual attraction made me ace.
The article never once implies that autism is a "defect" forcing people into asexuality, and frankly I find your immediate reading of it to be this case offensive in its own right.
Obviously anxiety and sensory issues can affect allosexuals when choosing romantic/sexual partners, but this article isn't about them. It's about recognizing asexual autistics as people who deserve to be talked about just as openly and free of judgement as any other queer person. Just because social and sensory issues didn't play a huge factor in YOU learning you were ace doesn't mean that isn't the case for ALL of us. Also I find your claim of there being "less barriers" for autistics to navigate to learn that they could be ace to be completely ridiculous. Many autistics (particularly those with low-support needs) actually DO internalize all of these social roles forced onto us for fear of being punished if we fail them! Not to mention the sheer lack of positive discussion about asexuality as a whole is a good a barrier as any for an autistic to either not know that it's a valid identity or be simply too afraid to come out as ace due to the the very real fear of being further infantilized by others for it.
We should also recognise that not all asexual people are born-this-way asexuals with no identifiable factor which could be "blamed" for their asexuality... and that they are nevertheless valid. (Considering how many factors can be and often are "blamed" for asexuality, almost everyone fails the Unassailable Asexual "test" anyway.) It's possible to have underlying factors which clearly could have influenced the development of our sexuality, and still identify as asexual, prefer being asexual ("effectively asexual", if you prefer, I'm not really against this term as long as my agency is respected), and reject any idea of "fixing" the underlying factors which could have made us asexual.
I'm asexual and autistic, but there is also another factor which played a role: my allergy, which made me embarassed about my skin and therefore made me develop an extreme nudity aversion already at a prepubescent age. Because of this nudity aversion I'm also terrified of sex and completely reject the possibility of trying it. However, my autism plays a role here too: with my very low social skills, I genuinely don't know how do people form relationships. I have tried, but never succeeded and I'm now a 40+ person with zero relationship experience. However, if anything... it makes living as a sex-averse asexual easier, not harder. My sex aversion never caused tensions in relationships, because I don't have them.
I don't consider myself aromantic, but have accepted that relationships may not be for me (because I simply don't know how to handle them) and understand that I don't need them to be happy. I feel so much love and passion for my interests... and therefore what I demand is the right to use the word "love". The right not to have my interests dismissed as mere "hobbies". Ultimately, I have come to the conclusion that what I call nonpersonal love - love for phenomena, ideas... - is the area where my love finds its expression.
One thing I love about non-ordinary reality, is that its non-ordinary. As a result, it makes it easier, I would think, to ignore social norms which are fucked anyway. That may or may not be comfortable in a human world obsessed with everyone conforming, but to me, it's more real.
I have never been diagnosed with anything, (it has been suggested there could be some aspergers due to my need to get communication clearer and clearer, but I think thats handy to have) however, I know my reality is not 'normal'. I, as a therapist, I see all sorts of takes on what reality is. I have personally come to the conclusion that non-ordinary reality may actually be the norm once we remove all the social conditioning and rules on how we are individually supposed to be, both socially and personally. Long live 'the spectrum', and diversity, I say.
Note: These musings are not intended to disrespect anyones experience of life.
May I make a suggestion? Consider this: autistic people do not internalize social roles and expectations the same way that allistic (non-autistic) people do. Therefore, there are less barriers that would prevent an autistic person from realizing that they are also on the asexual spectrum. There. That's it, that's the explanation. Boom. Now you don't need to imply that autism is inherently a defect that forces us to identify as asexual.
Frankly, this article is highly offensive and suggests that autistic people are uniquely primed to be asexual because we're not allistic. Asexuality is solely about sexual attraction. Things like social anxiety over being misunderstood by allistic romantic partners, or sensory issues restricting what kinds of sexual activity one can do, are things that affect allosexual (non-asexual) autists too. Those things didn't make me ace. Not experiencing sexual attraction made me ace.
The article never once implies that autism is a "defect" forcing people into asexuality, and frankly I find your immediate reading of it to be this case offensive in its own right.
Obviously anxiety and sensory issues can affect allosexuals when choosing romantic/sexual partners, but this article isn't about them. It's about recognizing asexual autistics as people who deserve to be talked about just as openly and free of judgement as any other queer person. Just because social and sensory issues didn't play a huge factor in YOU learning you were ace doesn't mean that isn't the case for ALL of us. Also I find your claim of there being "less barriers" for autistics to navigate to learn that they could be ace to be completely ridiculous. Many autistics (particularly those with low-support needs) actually DO internalize all of these social roles forced onto us for fear of being punished if we fail them! Not to mention the sheer lack of positive discussion about asexuality as a whole is a good a barrier as any for an autistic to either not know that it's a valid identity or be simply too afraid to come out as ace due to the the very real fear of being further infantilized by others for it.
We should also recognise that not all asexual people are born-this-way asexuals with no identifiable factor which could be "blamed" for their asexuality... and that they are nevertheless valid. (Considering how many factors can be and often are "blamed" for asexuality, almost everyone fails the Unassailable Asexual "test" anyway.) It's possible to have underlying factors which clearly could have influenced the development of our sexuality, and still identify as asexual, prefer being asexual ("effectively asexual", if you prefer, I'm not really against this term as long as my agency is respected), and reject any idea of "fixing" the underlying factors which could have made us asexual.
I'm asexual and autistic, but there is also another factor which played a role: my allergy, which made me embarassed about my skin and therefore made me develop an extreme nudity aversion already at a prepubescent age. Because of this nudity aversion I'm also terrified of sex and completely reject the possibility of trying it. However, my autism plays a role here too: with my very low social skills, I genuinely don't know how do people form relationships. I have tried, but never succeeded and I'm now a 40+ person with zero relationship experience. However, if anything... it makes living as a sex-averse asexual easier, not harder. My sex aversion never caused tensions in relationships, because I don't have them.
I don't consider myself aromantic, but have accepted that relationships may not be for me (because I simply don't know how to handle them) and understand that I don't need them to be happy. I feel so much love and passion for my interests... and therefore what I demand is the right to use the word "love". The right not to have my interests dismissed as mere "hobbies". Ultimately, I have come to the conclusion that what I call nonpersonal love - love for phenomena, ideas... - is the area where my love finds its expression.
Thank you.
This makes so much sense. Thank you for writing it because I could never figure out why I tended to not be sexually attracted to anyone.
I tried 🤷 didn't work so well.
One thing I love about non-ordinary reality, is that its non-ordinary. As a result, it makes it easier, I would think, to ignore social norms which are fucked anyway. That may or may not be comfortable in a human world obsessed with everyone conforming, but to me, it's more real.
I have never been diagnosed with anything, (it has been suggested there could be some aspergers due to my need to get communication clearer and clearer, but I think thats handy to have) however, I know my reality is not 'normal'. I, as a therapist, I see all sorts of takes on what reality is. I have personally come to the conclusion that non-ordinary reality may actually be the norm once we remove all the social conditioning and rules on how we are individually supposed to be, both socially and personally. Long live 'the spectrum', and diversity, I say.
Note: These musings are not intended to disrespect anyones experience of life.